I hate girls who wear make-up. Why? Because it's a lie, just like if I shoved three kilos of sausages down a codpiece it would be a lie.
Like Hamlet said, 'God gave you one face and you make for yourselves another.'
For some examples, see to the right, or else click here to view more examples of what transformations have been achieved with the application of paint.
The combination of alcohol intake (known as beer goggles) and make-up (aka 'slap') has been known to make all sorts of munters look like supermodels, only without that food-avoiding anorexic bodyshape.
This is why I hate girls who wear make-up. It's a blatant trap aimed at deluding drunk men into thinking that some women are better looking than they are.
Why is this bad? Because if a relationship is based on physical attraction alone, it's not going to last long. And if it's based on physical attraction that's not going to last past the hangover and the wet wipes, then the relationship won't survive past breakfast and the walk of shame.
Get over yourselves, ladies. Stop spending fortunes enriching lying bastard cosmetic firms in order to perpetrate your own lies yourselves.
Then you might be surprised to find that the fellas who show an interest in you are actually really interested in you, and not the face you're faking with slap, and then the 'relationship' might have a chance of making it past tomorrow lunchtime.
Plus it makes a nasty mess on the pillow.
This has been a JC Skinner public service announcement.
