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Friday, November 03, 2006

Wanted: New Stalker for Top Irish Model

So Glenda Gilson's stalking nightmare is over.

Following her 'court ordeal', in which the alleged stalker received a suspended sentence, 'top Irish model' Glenda expressed her relief to any tabloid entertainments correspondent who happened to be on hand.

Hence her preposterously eyebrowed gob on the front page of the papers today, not to mention on TV all day yesterday.

This leads me to a number of thoughts:

1. How much of a loser do you have to be to stalk Glenda Gilson? I mean, Jessica Alba I can see the attraction. Scarlett Johansson, fair enough. Angelina Jolie? Well, she'd probably be more likely to stalk you. But Glenda sodding Gilson?

2. How bereft of news are the papers when Glenda's stalker hell makes front page? Seriously, there isn't a person in the country doesn't see through this painful puff for what it is - which is another sorry and desperate attempt to promote GG as the future of television presenting in England.

3. Do we really not have better looking women in this country? Maybe I need my eyes checked, but it seems to me that you could trip over better looking girls than 'top model' Glenda, just by walking up Grafton Street at 3am.

4. What sort of a name is Glenda anyway? What were her parents thinking? I mean, is she supposed to be the Good Witch of the North or something?

5. Now that her stalker has been rightly chastened with a suspended sentence, what will Glenda do to keep generating the press interest? No one watches that obscure cable MTV rip-off she presents, and most people just groan and turn the page when they see her eyebrows selling some snake-oil tit cream or similarly ridiculous product. Perhaps she'll be looking for a new stalker to keep those headlines rolling in.


AMS said...

Not to worry - surely she'll get a job peddling selection boxes or some shite for the christmas - cue pic of her in a bikini on stephens green pretending to eat a chomp or something

Jerry Cornelius said...

Rehab Bingo...ain't that representative of Modern Ireland!

McDeath said...

It seems like tabloid Irelands continuing and ever more desperate search for genuine celebs has reached yet another low. I am expecting to hear about several hardened hacks running into Captain Nemo or the king of the mole people such is the depths that they will stoop to in order to dredge up a non-story and present it to the masses as 'News'.

Anonymous said...

Glenda Gilson, 'Ireland's top model'... who the fuck thought up of that???????

I was at an album launch last year - oh yah! It was my own album launch! Seriously, she was there pushing people out of the way to get to the snappers. At one stage she came up to me (looking down at me - I'm 5ft 2) and asked/begged me to have her pic taken with her. I told her to fuck off.
Glenda fuckin' Gilson. Someone please put her out of her misery, and if Assets thinks she's the best, between herself and Katie French, well then the pure Irish Colleen beauty is fucked. Makes me sick