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Thursday, November 09, 2006

When I'm world dictator...

... the very first decree I'll introduce is that all advertisements of any kind must be able to PROVE all claims or face the loss of 50% of company profits.

"Because you're worth it?" Prove that EVERY SINGLE PERSON exposed to the ad is 'worth' it, ie they can all afford to purchase overpriced cosmetics. Since poor African feckers obviously can't, L'Oreal hands over the profits.

"Probably the best lager in the world?" Show us the test results of blind tastings held under clinical conditions in every country on earth, indicating that Carlsberg won on every occasion. There aren't any such tests? Oops, hand over the money you lying Danish gits.

Overnight, my blood pressure would be spared the excess lying of ponytailed advertising and marketing scumbags, and so would yours.

We'd soon see ads like 'Renault, decent enough cars that will rust after a while, though' and 'Casillero del diablo, it's mass produced cheap South American plonk but we're marking up the price for Britain and Ireland.'

Think about it. You could learn to trust the media again.

4 comments:

monty said...

And what about "Bank with us. We'll not rip you off any more than the others will. But you should still feel grateful."

AMS said...

or what about the "voted product of the year" ones. I mean who votes for that sort of shite contest? Plus Ive seen about ten ads for ten different products and they're all product of the year.

I smell a rat.

The Swearing Lady said...

99.9% of cats prefer it!

Mind you, 100% of cats are thickos.

Jerry Cornelius said...

My favourite is the Phoenix Gas Ad that their product REDUCES carbon emmissions! A Miracle no doubt!