Friday, April 03, 2009
The current titles of our Government departments are almost meaningless. They certainly are bearing increasingly little relevance to their actual tasks.
The Department of Enterprise, Trade and Employment, for example. Seriously? There is no enterprise in Ireland worth talking about, trade's gone down the shitter with the sterling and dollar exchange rates and employment is a distant dream.
So I propose that we start renaming the departments to reflect what the Government is actually doing.
Department of Health and Children:
Department of Privatising and Outsourcing Health
Department of Justice, Equality and Law Reform:
Department of Enabling Nigerian Asylum Scammers and letting Scumbags out on Bail
Department of Foreign Affairs:
Department of Letting Britain run the North and letting Europe run the rest of the country
Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food:
Department of Paying Farmers to do Nothing
Department of Social and Family Affairs:
Department of Welfare Tourism for Eastern Europeans
Department of Community, Rural and Gaeltacht Affairs:
Department of Unjustifiable Grants for Pretending to Speak Irish at Home
Department of Transport:
Department of Repeatedly Taxing Motorists
Department of Defence:
Department of the Ministerial Helicopter Taxi Service
Department of Environment, Heritage and Local Government:
Department of Putting Motorways through National Historic Monuments
Department of Arts, Sport and Tourism:
Department of Subsidising Bono and Gerry Ryan, and Begging rich Yanks to Visit
Department of Education and Science:
Department of Subjecting Kids to Squalor and Overcrowding
Department of Communications, Energy and Natural Resources:
Department of Suppressing Broadband and Giving Ireland's Oil and Gas Away for Free
But I imagine you could do better?