The rich are suffering?

According to the spoofers, vested interests and eejits in the ESRI, the rich are suffering in what they euphemistically call 'the downturn' (a diminution akin to calling the civil war in Northern Ireland 'troubles'.)

Has anyone told Sean FitzPatrick yet? Or David Drumm? Or any of the other millionaire banksters who cut and run with their swagbags to their sunny hideyholes, laughing all the way?

The ESRI should really be wound down at this stage. It's nothing more than a national gag generator, and I mean gag in both senses, creating comedy and vomit in equal measure.

Remember, these are the same loons who were still predicting boom even after the bust had arrived, still wittering about 'soft landings' when the economy was in freefall.

A small point on the issue of democracy

I've not yet heard anyone make the following simple point, least of all those who are seeking to create the 'progressive coalition' in Britain.

Sure, the Tories got the most seats. That's their argument.
And sure, the Liberals and Labour collectively got many more votes. That's the only argument they've offered in terms of legitimacy so far.

But my argument would be this: surely a coalition made up of Labour, the Lib Dems, the SDLP, Lady Sylvia (former UUP), NI Alliance Party, the Greens (and possibly Scots and Welsh nationalists too) represents a much broader and wider sweep of the UK than a simple coalition of Tories and Liberals, propped up perhaps by the DUP.

The Tory spin that such a coalition would be fragile is undone by this argument. Because the very thing that makes it fragile is the very thing that makes it democratic - plurality of representation.

In the national interest

Pretty much everything any British politician is saying today relates to things being done in the national interest.

It's the catchphrase used to justify all sorts of self-serving politicking. But playing with the phrase makes for a fun game, actually.

Simply add 'in the national interest' to whatever self-centred nonsense you happen to be spouting and voila! No dissent.

It could prove useful in all sorts of situations. Unruly child?
'Go to your bed, in the national interest!'

Need a loan from your bank manager? Simply demand it in the national interest, of course. They're getting their money from the state using exactly the same excuse after all.

Not getting laid? Invite a lady back to yours for coffee 'in the national interest.'

I suspect we're going to hear an awful lot more about the national interest in the next while.

The Dark Lord is still spinning

Lord Mandelson appears to have pulled off at least the half-chance of continuing the nu-Labour regime that little bit longer.

Perhaps this is not the wisest move for Labour. Whoever comes in must make cuts, deep and severe cuts.

And they'd have to do so propped up by at least one other party in the Lib Dems, who could walk at any time. And in Labour's case, a few assorted other fellow travellers too.

Such an arrangement would give the Liberals the PR they want (like our presidential electoral system) but would be exceedingly fragile. This appears to be the main reason why the Liberals have permitted Westminster posh boy Clegg his flirtation with the Tories.

While Brown remained in charge of Labour, he remained a block on such a Lib-Lab pact. Mandelson now appears to have unblocked that in dramatic fashion tonight. Or was it perhaps a last throw of the dice by Brown himself, putting party and country first?

Either way, it's now a live option. The Liberals need only swallow hard, suck up the approprium of the Tory press, and cut the deal.

The alternative is now to prop up a minority Tory government, as coalition was never likely there, on the basis of a slender promise to examine electoral reform.

Not an easy choice, and getting harder for Clegg by the minute. Walking away from the Tories would please his party but not the press or many of the people.

This election has made life very difficult for all three parties. And all the available options provide concern for each of those parties.

But from an Irish point of view, there's little doubt that a coalition of Labour and the Liberals which included nationalists from the Celtic fringes is a wet dream for most Irish people.

And the alternative, Tories propped up by the DUP, doesn't bear thinking about.

This will likely result in bitter recriminations one way or the other. But if those recriminations are heard loudest from the Tory press and the Cameroons, then likely Gordon Brown and his dark Lord will consider today's stunning events to be a political masterstroke.

Scotch at noon

She's got a day off and she's excited about it.

"I'm going to be so lazy," she promises. "I'm having the longest lie-in. You know what I don't have to do? I don't have to work."

She gets drunk on the freedom.

"I could have scotch at noon," she promises rashly.

"You want scotch at noon?" I ask, concerned as I am the only possessor of scotch in the building.

"Don't be silly," she says to my relief. "I'm going to sleep in way past noon!"

Gordon's last stand

I bet Brown doesn't read this blog. And that's going to be something he'll regret, because I know how to save his career and his legacy.

He needs to call Nick Clegg and offer him the following improvement on the existing offer - two seats at cabinet for him and Vince Cable, one of them being that of the Prime Minister. And insists that he or Darling, with Cable's assistance, ride out the financial crisis.

Brown then makes a public speech acknowledging he has been rebuffed as PM, and offers the public change they can believe in - a Clegg-led administration, heavy on the Labour ministers, but with the addition of Clegg and Cable.

And he offers his own expertise as Chancellor to steer Britain out of the crisis with Cable's help.

He then steps down to cabinet and does just that, the one thing he does well - manage the economy, alongside Cable. The markets would believe in that team.

Gordon could step down, and will do if Cameron puts a deal together. It will be the cruel end that most politicians suffer. But there is the chance to stay in the game, redeem his reputation and do the state some service.

He should offer Clegg the poisoned chalice of sitting in Number 10, holding together a rainbow alliance, and the chance to implement their policy in Government.

He should enjoy this one last victory over the Tories and over Mandelson, who would take no part in such a cabinet and would be banished to the Lords, which would then be immediately overhauled.

And he should take this chance, this last stand, to redeem his legacy with one last masterful stint at the job he's good at, rather than the job of Prime Minister.

One glimmer of hope

In this potential hour of Tory darkness, one glimmer of hope emerges.

Naomi Long has replaced Peter Robinson as the MP for East Belfast.

Well done, East Belfast. I'm totally proud of you.

David Cameron is a Tory wanker who'll make Britain a police state

An Evening Standard hack blogged today that cops had raided the home of a photographer who had placed a 'David Cameron is a wanker' poster in his window.

Then the blog mysteriously disappeared, though the Daily Telegraph still links to where it once was.

So it may or may not be true.

But in case it turns out not to be true, I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression.


David Cameron IS a wanker. Worse, he's a self-entitled Tory wanker who'll make Britain the sort of police state where the cops will tear your door down for dissenting.

Call-me-Dave wasn't so precious when he and his Bullingdon Club pals were busy trashing restaurants like posh-boy hooligans at Oxford. Why the thin skin now?

Please God don't let this PR creature and his hordes of evil assume power in Britain tomorrow.