Dads have fewer rights than lesbian lovers

Irish fathers be warned.

According to a court ruling yesterday, the one third of you who are not married to the mothers of your children have fewer rights than a lesbian in a relationship with your child's mother.

In a preposterous ruling that has massive implications for 30% of Irish fathers, Mr 'Justice' John Hedigan ruled yesterday that a family of two women and a child was no less of a family than an unmarried man and woman with a child.

And then he ruled against permitting the father of a child guardianship of his own flesh and blood, because of the poisonous relationship between the father and the two lesbians.

Let's just tease this one out, because the implications are rather profound.

In Ireland, if you are not married, and you father a child, you have no de facto rights. You are obliged to seek those rights of guardianship, access and custody via the family law courts, which are held in camera, meaning that what is said in those courtrooms cannot be repeated, either in libel cases or in other formats like the media.

In other words, you could go to court to gain access to your child, only to be called for example a paedophile or a drug addict with no basis in reality, and be denied a relationship with your child.

And now, thanks to the most recent ruling yesterday, you can be denied a relationship with your child because the mother has shacked up with another woman and they don't want you involved!

This story will inevitably be spun as some sort of victory for equal rights for gay couples. It isn't. It's a defeat for fathers.

It's the story of a father denied a relationship with his son, a child he fathered, made up of half of his genes, because of the caprice of a lesbian couple and the blind stupidity of the Irish family law system, which favours everything and everyone over father's rights.

And it's the story of a little boy denied a relationship with his male parent because his mother is vindictive and because courts are shit-scared of doing anything that could remotely be spun as homophobic.

Conclusion: It's alright to deny human rights to people as long as they are children or fathers in Ireland.

Politically Correct Valentine's Day

I've shamelessly nicked this from the BBC online magazine, where some legal genius posted it.

If you're about to send a card to your heart's desire, but are fearful of incurring legal action for sexual harrassment or some other difficulty, this is the Valentine you should send!

A Legally Safe Valentine for 2007

From myself ("the lover") to you ("hereinafter called the lovee"),

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my sincerest expressions of affection on this environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, Valentine’s Day, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

This is being communicated to you on the 14th February 2007 with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the lovee.

By accepting this expression of affection you are bound by these terms that-

* This expression of affection is subject to further clarification or withdrawal

* This expression of affection is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original wording and that the proprietary rights of the lover are acknowledged.

* This expression of affection implies no promise by the lover to actually implement any of the wishes unless specifically mentioned in any existing agreement pre-nuptial, post-nuptial or otherwise.

* This expression of affection may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain lovees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the lover.

Happy Valentine's Day!