If you're about to send a card to your heart's desire, but are fearful of incurring legal action for sexual harrassment or some other difficulty, this is the Valentine you should send!
A Legally Safe Valentine for 2007
From myself ("the lover") to you ("hereinafter called the lovee"),
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my sincerest expressions of affection on this environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, Valentine’s Day, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
This is being communicated to you on the 14th February 2007 with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the lovee.
By accepting this expression of affection you are bound by these terms that-* This expression of affection is subject to further clarification or withdrawal
* This expression of affection is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original wording and that the proprietary rights of the lover are acknowledged.
* This expression of affection implies no promise by the lover to actually implement any of the wishes unless specifically mentioned in any existing agreement pre-nuptial, post-nuptial or otherwise.
* This expression of affection may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain lovees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the lover.
Happy Valentine's Day!