I've been forced to remove the image from this page due to the phenomenally large number of sad perverts out there who are desperately seeking a view of Madonna's snatch.
Dear perverts, please leave this blog alone, zip up your trousers, go have a nice cold shower and then get a life, preferably one with a proper actual living woman in it. Thanks, JC.
The hypocrisy of some people is truly astounding. Michael McDowell lambasting other politicians over their dealings with the press, for example. Or Catholic clerics who condemned people as sinners for having sex outside of marriage while raping children themselves.
But among instances of spectacular contemporary hypocrisy above and beyond the call of duty, the biscuit has to go to Madonna, for banning her daughter from even seeing boys until she is 18 years old. (The child is currently only ten.)
She is worried that boys might lead her precious little Lourdes astray. Not half as astray as she herself has wandered in the past, I would suggest.
Let's remind ourselves of Madonna's own track record. She began her career as a nude photographic model in New York as a teenager, having gone through a number of schools due to her rebellious streak.
A trained dancer, she first got into music by shagging a musician with whom she formed a band. Then she formed another band with another 'boyfriend', and recorded some songs.
She got one of those songs released and got signed to a record label. She then recorded her debut album and got another 'boyfriend' to remix it for her. Since then she has shagged her way through Hollywood stars, basketball players and even women in an attempt to remain in the headlines.
She has made two soft-porn coffee table books featuring herself nude. She has children by two separate men, and one she dodgily adopted in Africa away from the child's own father.
Her eldest daughter, over whom she is now so concerned, is known as 'Lola' and 'Lolita' in the family home.
But now that she's a mumsy, huntin' and shootin' English lady of the manor who writes crappy children's books that are as risibly poor as her acting used to be, she's worried about the bad influence of boys on her daughter?
Wait till little Lola cops what you got up to, Madge. I can't think of a worse influence on an impressionable little girl than a tarty Mum who made a mint being a professional tramp, then turned into a hypocritical prude.