Pot launches savage attack on kettle

We all know how some organisations attached to the lost Empire love to parade their poppies to the heavens at this time of year, while waxing lyrical about their Britishness.

One might well argue that they spare a thought for the many thousands, if not millions, who have died at the hands of Britain's military while they aggrandise their fallen soldiers this Sunday.

But they wouldn't listen and would only consider the remembrance of innocent victims as a churlish attempt to do down their heroic boys. So I won't bother.

Instead, I intend to turn my attention to that bastion of bigotry and drug-dealing terrorism, the UDA.

Apparently, they're still sabre-rattling, despite having decimated themselves with in-fighting in recent years. In a statement issued to mark Remembrance day, they warn that they intend to fight to defend their Britishness against what they admit is a 'non-violent' threat from Nationalists.

This comes on the heels of the latest Independent Monitoring Commission statement yesterday which noted its 'disappointment' at the complete and utter lack of movement on Loyalist decommissioning.

I have some questions for the powers that be. Why are the UDA permitted to continue in action, with their armouries intact, threatening the Nationalist community in this manner?

And when is President Mary McAleese going to knock her tokenistic outreach to these Loyalists on the head?

Remember, her husband golfs with the head of the UDA, the UDA get to party regularly in Aras an Uachtarain at her invitation, and she got the UDA brigadier an IRISH passport so that he could sneak past US Homeland security to go to America.

And all the while, the self-same people have their guns in the attic and are making threatening statements to Nationalists!

In their statement, the UDA also accused Republicans of racism, ignorance and bigotry. What a savage attack on the kettle by the pot!

The vast majority of racist attacks on ethnic minorities in Northern Ireland occur in Loyalist areas. This is a simple statement of fact. Furthermore, there could be few organisations on the planet more doused in ignorance and bigotry than the post-McMichaels UDA.

It's time that the authorities North and South lost their patience with this shower of thugs and drug dealers. It's time to lock them up and sieze their weapons. Let's start with UDA South Belfast brigadier Jackie McDonald.

He should be easy to find. If he's not at Stormont demanding money from MLAs for dubious 'community groups', then you'll likely find him on some posh golf course in the Republic on the green with Martin McAleese.

One can only imagine some great golfing conversations between those pair, though:

Martin: Nice shot, Jackie. You're on the green.
Jackie: Don't you oppress me with your Nationalist rhetoric, you fucking ignorant bigot, or I'll brain you with this nine iron!
Martin: Very sorry, Jackie. Would you like an Irish passport?
Jackie: Don't mind if I do. But don't you dare threaten my Britishness or I'll wrap this five wood round your neck! Here, do you fancy a wee wrap of cocaine?

Etc, etc.

Dail dissolved

Well, it was getting embarrassing.

First telling our unelected President to cancel all appointments for Friday afternoon, then bottling it at the last minute.

Then hapless Bert gets a quick graft of backbone from the party, who are fed up at watching their coalition lead erode in the polls.

And it's a dash to the Aras this morning to get La McAleese's autograph before she goes walkies abroad again, as is her wont.

So the Dail is now dissolved. A pity that couldn't be taken literally. Every five years, we could douse the lot of them in a strong hydrochloric acid bath for being useless, pocket-lining chancers.

It would certainly winnow out the less altruistic candidates for election, that's for sure.

Well, folks, you now have until May 24th to decide which chancer running in your neck of the woods is less likely to shaft the economy and you personally than the other chancers.

Don't let apathy win. Your vote counts. Quiz them on the doorsteps, question them on the issues that matter to you. Tell them about your shoddy health service, overpriced public-private partnerships on what should be essential infrastructure and your concerns about the housing market.

Demand costed plans for their manifestos. Seek evidence that they are not the corrupt, pocket-lining time-servers that we have so long suffered in this country in place of public representatives.

Consider voting for candidates that highlight issues you believe in, even if they won't form a government. People who espouse green issues, father's rights, a united Ireland, the preservation of your local hospital.

But make sure to give a preference high up to the candidate of the government of your choice.

Make your say count. There's no mandate for moaning if you didn't vote in the first place. This is your opportunity to hold politicians to account. It only happens once every four or five years. Use it.

The UDA

The Ulster Defence Association is a loyalist terror group, founded in 1972 at the height of the Troubles.

In the Eighties, the UDA and their various proxy names (UFF etc) killed only two Republican paramilitaries, but over 100 innocent Catholics in Northern Ireland.

Many of these killings were done in collusion with the RUC and the UDR, the official, British government-sponsored agents of justice in Northern Ireland at the time.

The UDA is heavily armed, and engages in internal feuding as well as internecine feuding with the UVF, largely in turf wars relating to the profits of drug dealing and racketeering in Northern Ireland and Scotland.

The UDA is a proscribed organisation, of which membership is a criminal offence. Despite a promise in 2005, years after the IRA disarmed, to 'consider their position', the most recent Independent Monitoring Commission report highlights that the UDA continues to be involved in organised crime, drug trafficking, counterfeiting, extortion, money laundering and robbery.

So can anyone please explain why it is that UDA leader Jackie McDonald can be seen shaking the hand of Hugh Orde, chief cop in Northern Ireland, yesterday without feeling the cool clink of cuffs around his wrists?

Can anyone explain why it is that the UDA - a criminal organisation that refuses to ceasefire or disarm - is set to receive £1.2 million pounds from the British government, despite openly refusing to even consider handing in their weapons?

The pictures of McDonald grasping the hand of the leading policeman of the land is reminiscent for many people of recent times when innocent Catholics were murdered by the UDA with the RUC's blessing.

It rubs salt in their open wounds when they see police and unionists attempt to lie about those crimes, and seek to pour scorn on Nuala O'Loan's report into collusion.

But the sight of paramilitary leaders, whose followers are known to be active criminals and known to be armed to the teeth, not only walking the streets freely but shaking hands with our 'reformed' police force leader and then actually receiving millions of taxpayer pounds to do so makes me sick.

Oh, did I mention that this particular drug-dealing, Catholic hating, tooled up, bigoted piece of filth Jackie McDonald is also great and old pals with our own gullible and unelected president, La McAleese too?