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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Skinner Towers Attacked!

Fair play to the boys in blue. Perhaps they aren't all the keystone cops and corrupt Donegal shysters I took them for, after all.

Last night, some scumbags tried to break into my house. I heard them before they got in, thankfully, and warned them off, calling the plod for good measure.

While I waited in the darkened house, mobile in one hand and huge knife in the other, watching the shitheads trying to make their next move, the local Gardai arrived within a mere fifteen minutes.

By that stage, the cunts had fucked off to try some house that didn't have an irate, awake Northerner with a huge knife in it, but the plod took a description, had a word with another neighbour whose gaff they'd tried to break into, and circled the neighbourhood for a good hour looking for them.

I don't know if they caught them in the end, but fair play for the effort.

I really hope the boys in blue did catch them, though, because if I ever see them again, my knife hand is very twitchy.

8 comments:

mellobiafra said...

Shit man! Hope you're OK! What necks these thieving Knackeraguans have! Did they actually know you were in and were just too smacked out of their empty little speydy skulls? Only the most deranged home invader would dare try it on with anybody under 70 up here in quasi-independent DUPland.

JC Skinner said...

All is well.
Don't think they realised I was in, until I appeared at an upstairs window, having already rang the plod, waving a big knife at them.
They did seem to be pissed up, and were thick enough to leave my gaff and try it on with the lad from down the road.
Which is almost equally unadviseable given his close familial relationship to a prominent Dublin gangland criminal.
Which is why we never normally have burglaries in this neighbourhood, actually.
I'm thinking these tits who came calling last night were either new to the district or so drunk they thought they were somewhere else.

Dario Sanchez said...

Fair play to you, JC. I'm taking a Krav Maga course so I can disarm and then knock cunts like this out should they try anything.

Your way though, waving a big-ass knife in the air, is great. Use the pricks' own weapons against them.

Missing Neighbour said...

Bunch or right (Attempted)robbing scumbags. You should have droped a portable TV on one of the cunts heads. That would have sobered him up right and quick.
It reminds me of the time something very similar happened to me once. I was in my flat many moons ago and heard a noise at the back door. When I went to investigate it was some twat trying to break in. I started hurling verbal abuse at him and then asked him to wait while I fetched the keys and we could sort it out. I managed to make it back with the keys just in time to see the cunt scaling over the back wall. I was well pissed off to say the least. So I taped a note to my back door informing him (Or any other hous breaking cunts) that they were more than welcome to try and break in as long as they enjoyed being carted off to casualty with four broken limbs and a ructy bread knife though their balls. I didn'y have any bother after that. :)

Missing Neighbour said...

Please excuse my typos in the previous post.

Flirty Something said...

Legally how much damage can you inflict on them before you run the risk of prison? As I imagine it is would be a major outlet for your rage?

JC Skinner said...

I dunno. The poor oul farmer who rightly blew that scumbag Frog Ward away got sent down for some serious time before it was overturned.
However, my inclination, especially if my missus or kid is in the house, is to attack first, and be alive to at least have a day in court afterwards if one is required.
The law says that minimum force required for self-defence is what's allowed, though.
Stupid law.

Big Nuts said...

I tend to think that the use off criminals in scare tactics is away for the Special Branch to tell you to stop talking about particular things regarding the North, and about certain individuals. Just a thought?