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Monday, July 05, 2010

Oolster-Scòtch comes of age

At long last, the imaginary language has produced something of genuine worth.

No, not the 'translation' fees that helped fund turncoat Ian Parsley's ill-fated tilt at political superstardom. I mean a genuine piece of art even more hilarious than Lord Laird's excuses for his stratospheric taxi expenses.

Welcome to 1690 and all thon, a satirical examination of Northern Ireland's politics and culture, with a special focus on the nonsense that is Ulster-Scots.

You have to admire 'Professor' Wullie and his associates Billy and WJ for their mastery of this spoof language. I really hope they're receiving some sort of grant from the millions of wasted taxpayers' money that's being pissed away on this linguistic scam.

After all, if the Department of Arts and Culture can fund the paedophiles, bigots and chancers who run the actual Ulster-Scots Scam, surely these comic geniuses should be getting a few quid?

"Git yer fingers oot and haun thon wee lads a few shillin, Norn Iron Oaffis! Shure they've goat tae be wirth mair than payin fir Lord Laird's fauncy dress an cabbie bills," said one of the zero existing native speakers of Ulster-Scots yesterday.

PS. RIP to Horseman, author of the Ulster's Doomed blog, whose excellent work highlighting the duplicity of Ian Parsley is linked above. Sadly he passed away recently (Horseman, that is, not Parsley, more's the pity.)
The blogosphere is a poorer place without Horseman and his forensic numerical examinations of Northern Ireland and its politics. Our thoughts are with his family and friends.

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