Gwen loves life by the shore. Whether its her lakeside apartment, or the harbour views from her second home in England, or indeed the clifftop Italian hotels, five star naturally, in which she likes to holiday, Gwen loves to have water nearby.
I'd love to post a picture of Gwen Baker in one of her spectacular Venetian masks or swanning around in a stunning Mediterranean villa, so you could truly appreciate just how much she enjoys her life.
I'm not allowed to, though. I'd link to some pics of Gwen, but she's taken them all down off the web. She's taken down her CV too. This is also a pity, because if it were online I could link to it and then you could see for yourself why she and her fantabulous lifestyle should be of interest to every taxpayer in Ireland.
Gwen, an American lady of a certain age, is what's known as an SAP consultant. They design complicated IT systems. This much you can confirm online at her website here.
But you'll have to trust me when I tell you that Gwen was one of the leading designers of the Irish health service's PPARS computer system. A system that cost the Irish taxpayer over €180 million and has never worked.
It has been uncovered that IT consultants like Gwen walked away with millions of euro each for designing a system that ran rapidly out of control and never worked. People like Gwen were even hired via shady off-shore recruitment firms, and so it is unclear if they even paid tax on the millions they made.
It was announced today that the whole thing will have to be scrapped and a new system created. God forbid that they permit the morons of the HSE to oversee the replacement system. Yet, they will.
Those morons are the same morons who greenlighted every increase in budget for PPARS while they were in the old Southern or North-Western Health Boards. Yup, that's right, folks. They haven't been sacked. They're not going to be sacked. And they're probably going to oversee another scandal like PPARS all over again, because nothing has changed.
And probably people like Gwen Baker will come along again and siphon millions of taxpayers money from our health service - that's the HEALTH SERVICE, you know, the one that tries to help sick people but is starved of staff and resources? - by creating another IT system that doesn't work.
And probably people like Gwen will continue to enjoy their fabulously wealthy lives of luxury. And probably the same goons in the HSE will keep signing the cheques mindlessly. And the same fat lump of a health minister will nod and greenlight everything.
And the same poor, sick people will be stuck on the same trolleys in the same squalid hospitals waiting for the same beleaguered staff to look after them.
Because this is the Irish health service and no one is ever held to account. No one is ever to blame. And we the people are paying the price.