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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Kiwis in serial naming atrocity

For some time I've assumed that the world centre of thick-as-pigshit parents was the United States.

Where else would people saddle their unfortunate offspring with such ludicrous names as these?

But no, it appears that the courts in New Zealand of all places have been working overtime trying to persuade or in some cases enforce parents into giving their children proper names instead of ludicrous embarrassing monikers.

They've been forced to intervene to prevent dumb-as-fuck parents from calling their kids Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Fat Boy, Cinderella Beauty Blossom and Fish and Chips (who were twins).

Somewhat surprisingly, they've gone and let some other people who ought not be allowed to breed to name their kids, despite the names being this stupid: Violence, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Midnight Chardonnay, Benson and Hedges (who are very unfortunate twins).

Personally speaking, I don't see how calling a baby 'Number 16 Bus Shelter' is in any way preferable to calling the child 'Cinderella Beauty Blossom.' Both kids ought to be immediately taken into care, in my opinion.

Like they did with poor 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii'. Yup, her bastard parents really did call the child that. Fair play for the judge for making the poor darling a ward of court so that the child could get her name changed.

If ever there was an argument for forced sterilisation in a first world country, this is it. New Zealand, hang your strangely named heads in collective shame, for truly your country has the worst-named babies on Earth.

Unless someone knows better?

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